Ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima ni iki?
Ihohoterwa rikomeretsa umutima cyangwa amarangamutima ni uburyo bwo kugenzura umuntu ukoresheje amagambo, ibimenyetso cyangwa ibikorwa byo kumunenga, guharabika, gutesha agaciro cyangwa kumwifashisha mu bikorwa bidakwiye. Muri rusange, umubano ugaragara ko ugira ingaruka ku marangamutima iyo wiganjemo amagambo yo gutesha agaciro no kwangiza ubuzima bwawe bwo mu mutwe.
Nubwo ihohoterwa rikomeretsa umutima cyangwa amarangamutima rigaragara cyane mu mubano w’abakundana, rishobora kugaragara mu mubano w’ inshuti abagize umuryango cyangwa abakorana.
Ubu ni ubwoko bw’ ihohoterwa bigorana kumenya niba ryabayeho. Ibimenyetso byaryo bishobora kutagaragara inyuma ariko rituma umuntu yiha agaciro gake cyane, akaba yashidikanya ku bushobozi afite.
Icya mbere ukora iri hohoterwa aba agamije ni ukukugenzura hakoreshejwe uburyo bwo gusuzuguza cyangwa gucecekesha urikorewe.
Nyuma yo gukorerwa ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima, abarikorewe baba baguye mu mutego, akenshi barakomereka cyane ku buryo batakwihanganira umubano bafitanye n’ abandi ariko na none bakabura imbaraga zo kuwuvamo.
Ni gute wabimenya?
Iyo ugenzuye uburyo umubano wawe wifashe, wibuke ko ihohoterwa rikomeretsa umutima ritagaragarira amaso. Biragoye kwemeza ko umutima wakomeretse. Niba utekereza ko umubano wawe utifashe neza, tekereza uburyo umubano wawe wifashe hagati y’ umufasha wawe, inshuti cyangwa abagize umuryango n’ ingaruka bigira ku marangamutima yawe.
Hano hari ibimenyetso byerekana ko uri mu mubano uhagaze nabi. Wibuke ko nubwo mugenzi wawe yaba akora bike muri ibi, uracyari mu mubano ukomeretsa amarangamutima yawe.
Ntugwe mu mutego wo kwibwira ko “atari bibi cyane” cyangwa ngo ugabanye uburemere bw’ iyo myitwarire ikomeretsa umutima wawe. Wibuke ko buri wese akwiye kwitabwaho, kugirirwa neza no kubahwa.
Niba wumva warakomeretse, ukabura amahwemo, ubona ibintu bidasobanutse neza, ukaba udategwa amatwi, ufite agahinda, uhangayitse cyangwa ntacyo umaze mu gihe uganira n’ abandi, hari ibyago byinshi ko umubano urimo ukomeretsa amarangamutima yawe.
Akwitegaho ibikorwa byinshi Bidashoboka
Abantu bahohotera abandi mu marangamutima bumva ko hari ibyo biteguriye kubona iyo babangamira abandi. Ingero zabyo harimo:
• Kugusaba ibintu bidafite ishingiro.
Kumva ko wareka ibyawe ugakora ibyabo
Kumva ko mugomba kumarana igihe kinini
Kutanyurwa kandi ntako utagize ngo ukore ibyo bagusabye.
Kukunenga ngo ni uko utakoreshe uburyo bwabo mu gukora ibikorwa bagusabye
Kumva batavuguruzwa
Kugusaba kuvuga amazina n'amatariki nyayo mugihe muganira kubintu byakubabaje (kandi mugihe udashobora gukora ibi, bashobora kureka ibyabaye nkaho bitigeze bibaho)
Kugutesha agaciro
Abantu bakomeretsa abandi mu amarangamutima akensho bahitamo gukoresha imvugo cyangwa ibikorwa bikwambura agaciro. Ingero zirimo ibi bikurirkira:
Gusuzugura, kwanga cyangwa gusobanura nabi ibitekerezo cyangwa ukuri byawe.
Kwanga kwemera amarangamutima yawe, bakagerageza kukumvisha uko ugomba kumererwa.
Kugusaba ibisobanuro ku buryo wiyumva buri kanya
Kugushinja ko ibintu byose ubikomeza, ugira amarangamutima mu bintu byose cyangwa ko wataye ubwenge
Kwanga ibitekerezo utanga bakavuga ko nta mumaro bifite
Gutesha agaciro ubusabe bwawe, ibyo ukeneye bakumva ko ari ubuswa cyangwa bidakwiye
Kuvuga ko ibitekerezo byawe atari byo cyangwa abantu badashobora kukwizera akensho bakavuga ko “ukuririza ibintu”
Akenshi bagushinja ko wikunda, uhora ubasaba cyangwa ukunda ibintu iyo ugize icyo ubasaba (bumva ko nta kintu ukwiye guhabwa)
Gukurura intonganya
Abantu bakomeretsa abandi mu amarangamutima y’ abandi bakurura intonganya. Ingero zirimo:
Kugambirira gutongana
Gukoresha imvugo zihakana iby’ abandi
Kugira impinduka mu mimerere no kugira umujinya
Kwangiza imyenda, umusatsi, ibyo washyize ku murongo n’ ibindi byinshi
Imyitwarire idahwitse kandi itungurana kuburyo wumva ko "ugenda hejuru y'amagi".
Gukoresha ibikangisho
Abantu bakorera abandi ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima akenshi bakoresha ibikangisho. Ingero zirimo:
Gukoresha cyangwa gutega umuntu icyo akora ku buryo agira icyo yishinja
Guharabika abandi mu bice bihuriramo abantu benshi
Gukoresha ibyo utinya, indangagaciro, impuhwe cyangwa ubundi buryo bwo gukoresha abandi mu bikorwa bidahwitse.
Gukuririza amakosa y’ abandi cyangwa kuyibandaho mu rwego rwo kwirinda kugibwaho n’ igisebo kubera amahitamo cyangwa amakosa yabo.
Guhakana cyangwa kubeshya ko hari ibintu byabaye
Gutanga ibihano bikomeye kandi akenshi ahantu utabona uko uvuga ibikubangamiye.
Kuguhana akwima urukundo, akwirengagiza cyangwa gucece
Kwikuza
Abantu bakorera abandi ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima barikuza, bagashaka icyubahiro. Ingero zirimo:
Gufata abanda nkaho bari munsi yabo
Kunenga abandi kubera amakosa n’ ibyo batabashije gukora neza
Gushidikanya ku bintu byose babwiwe no kunyomoza abandi
Gukina abandi ku mubyimba
Kuvuga ko ibitekerezo by’abandi, ari ubucucu, bitarimo ubwenge cyangwa bitumvikana
Gusuzugura no kwikuza ku bandi
Gukoresha imvugo zo gutebya ariko bakomeretsa abandi
Kumva ko buri gihe aribo bari mu kuri, ko bazi byose cyangwa bafite ubwenge kurusha abandi.
Kugenzura abandi
Abantu bakorera abandi ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima bumva bagenzura abandi. Ingero zirimo:
Gukurikirana aho wagiye cyangwa kugenzura abo mwirirwanye harimo inshuti cyangwa abagize umuryango
Kugenzura ibikorwa by' abandi ku mirongo y’ ikoranabuhana harimo ubutumwa bugufi, imbuga nkoranyambaga na imeyili.
Gushinja abandi kubaca inyuma no guterwa ishyari n’ umubano bafitanye nabandi
Kugusaba ibisobanuro by’ aho uherereye buri gihe no kugenzura ingendo zose ukora
Gufata abandi nk’ibikoresho
Kunenga cyangwa gukinira ku bantu bawe: inshuti, umuryango n’abo mukorana
Gukoresha ishyari ryabo nk’ ikimenyetso cy’ urukundo kugira no ucike ku bandi
Kuguhatira kugumana nawe iminsi yose
Kugenzura uko ukoresha umutungo wawe.
Ubwoko bw’ ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima
Ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima rigaragara mu buryo butandukanye, harimo:
Gushinja undi kuguca cyangwa ibindi bimenyetso by’ ishyari no kwikunda.
Guhora ugenzura ibikorwa cyangwa imyitwarire y’ undi muntu
Guhora mushwana cyangwa buri umwe ahakanya undi
Kunenga bikabije
Kwoshya abandi gukora nabi
Gutandukanya umuntu n’ inshuti cyangwa umuryango we
Kwita amazina adakwiye no kuvuga amagambo ahoza abandi ku nkeke
Kwanga kugira uruhare mu mubano
Kurenganya abandi
Guceceka nyuma y' amakimbirane cyangwa kutumvikana
Kumva udashishikajwe n’ ibibazo by’ abandi
Kwanga kwita ku bandi
NI iby’ ingenzi kwibuka ko ubu buryo bwerekana ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima butaboneka mu ntangiriro z’ umubano. Umubano ushobora gutangira nk’ ibisanzwe ari mwiza, ariko umuntu ugambiriye gukomeretsa undi atangira gukoresha amayeri yo gukoresha mugenzi we. Iyo myitwarire akenshi itangira buhoro buhoro ku buryo bigorana kubibona hakiri kare.
Ingaruka z’ ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima
Iyo ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima rikomeje gufata indi ntera, uwarikorewe ashobora kwiyanga, rimwe na rimwe adafite n’ ikibyerekana ku mubiri. Ahubwo, ibikomere ntibigaragarire abandi, umuntu akishidikanyaho, akumva ntacyo amaze, akiyanga.
Ubushakashatsi bwerekanye ko ingaruka z’ ihohoterwa rikomeretsa umutima zikomeye nk’ iziterwa n’ iribabaza umubiri.
Uko igihe kigenda, uko gushinjwa, gutukwa, kwitwa amazina adakwiye, kunengwa, gukoreshwa bituma uwakorewe ihohoterwa atibona nk’ umuntu. Uwarikorewe ashobora gutangira guhuza n’ uwarimukoreye ku buryo nawe ubwe yiyambura agaciro yihaga. Iyo bigenze utyo, abakorewe ihohoterwa bashobora kumva ko umubano n’ abandi bantu utazongera kuba mwiza.
Ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima rishobora kwangiza ubucuti kuko abantu barikorewe akenshi usanga bibaza uko abandi bantu babafata kandi niba koko babakunda by’ukuri.
Abakorewe iri hohoterwa bakunda kwikura mu bucuti bafitanye n’ abandi, bakigunga, bumva ko nta muntu n’umwe ubakunda. Ikirenze ibyo byose, ni uko ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima rishobora guteza ibindi bibazo birimo agahinda gakabije, umuhangayiko, indwara z’ igifu, gutera cyane k’ umutima, indwara ziranga n’imyitwarire itabereye mu gufungura n’ ibibazo byo gusinzira.
Uko wakwitwara uhuye n’ ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima
Intambwe ya mbere yo guhangana n’ umubano urangwamo ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima ni ukumenya ko ryabayeho. Niba wabonye ko ibyo wakorewe byerekana iryo hohoterwa, nicyo cya mbere.
Iyo uvugishije ukuri kubyakubayeho, ushobora gutangira urugendo rwo kwita ku buzima bwawe. Hano hari uburyo burindwi wakoresha aka kanya:
1. Ihereze umwanya ku giti cyawe
Iyo bigeze ku buzima bwawe bwo mu mutwe n’ umubiri, ukeneye kwigira uwa mbere. Hagarika gukora ibintu byose uga
mbiriye kunezeza umuntu uguhohotera. Ite ku byo ukeneye, ukore ibintu bituma utekereza neza no kwemera uwo uri we.
Ikindi, ufate indyo ikwiye kandi yuzuye. Izi ntambwe ntoya zo kwiyitaho zishobora kugufasha guhangana n’ ibibazo bya buri munsi biterwa n’ ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima.
2. Shyiraho umurongo ntarengwa
Bwiza ukuri umuntu uguhohotera ko atagomba kwongera kugusakuriza, akwita amazina yishakiye, kukwitwaraho nabi, n’ ibindi. Mubwire kandi ibizaba niba yongeye kugaragaza imyitwarire wamubujije. Urugero; mubwire ko niba akwise nabi cyangwa akakwendereza, imishyikirano mwagirana izarangiye ukamusige ukagenda. Icy’ ingezi ni ugukurikiza umurongo ntarengwa washyizeho.
Ntuzashyireho imirongo ntarengwa wumva udafitiye ubushake bwo kugira icyo uyikoraho.
3. Reka kwishinja
Niba warahuye n’ ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima yawe mu mubano urimo, urashobora kwibwira ko hari ikitagenda neza kuri wewe. Ariko ntago wowe ubwawe uri ikibazo. Guhohotera umuntu biterwa n’amahitamo ubukora afite. Rero, reka kwishinja ku bintu udafiteho uko wahagarika.
4. Menya ko bigoye guhindura umuntu uguhohotera
Uretse imbaraga ubishyiramo, biragoye guhindura umuntu ukomeretsa amarangamutima yawe ahubwo gerageza gukora cyangwa kuba umuntu utandukanye. Umuntu ukora iryo hohoterwa niwe ubwe ufata umwanzuro wo kwitwara utyo. Iyibutse ko utahindura ibikorwa byabo kandi ko nawe udakwiye kubagaya. Ikintu kimwe wagenzura ni uburyo umwitwaraho.
5. Irinde indi mishyikirano
Irinde guterana amagambo n’ umuntu uguhohotera. Bisobanuye ko, niba uwo munutu agerageje ku gutonganya, atangiye kwiyenza, akagusaba gukora ibintu udashaka, agaragaje ifuhe; ntugerageze kwisobanura, kugira ngo utuze amarangamutima ye, cyangwa ngo usabe imbabazi ku makosa utakoze.
Mureke wenyine, umusige niba bishoboka. Kumusubiza bigushyira mu byago byo gukomeza gukomeretswa umutima.
6. Egera abandi bantu bagufasha
Nubwo byakomera kubwira abandi bantu ko uri mu bihe bigoye, kuvuga bishobora kugufasha. Egera kandi ubwire inshuti wizeye, umuryango cyangwa umujyanama ibihe bigoye uri kunyuramo. Gerageza uhunge umuntu ukomeretsa amarangamutima yawe, umarana umwanya n’ abandi bantu bakubaka.
Kwegera abo bantu wizeye ko bagufasha, bizatuma wumva ko utari wenyine bityo bikurinde irungu. Bashobora kukugira inama y’ uburyo wakora isesengura ku bintu n’ icyo wabikoraho.
7. Gira gahunda yo kubivamo
Niba uwo mubana, inshuti cyangwa umwe mu bagize umuryango atiteguye guhindura amahitamo ye mabi, nawe ntuzaguma mu mubano ukomeretsa umutima wawe. Utagize gahunda yo kubivamo, bishobora kugira ingaruka ku buzima bwo mu mutwe no ku mubiri.
Bitewe n’ ikibazo cyawe, ushobora guhitamo kureka uwo mubano ariko buri kibazo kiratandukanye. Rero, gerageza usangize ibitekerezo byawe inshuti wizeye, umuryango cyangwa umujyanama. Ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima rigira ingaruka zimara igihe kirekire, ariko rishobora kuganisha ku rikomeretsa umubiri.
Ibuka ko ihohoterwa akenshi rishobora kwiyongera iyo uwahohotewe afashe umwanzuro wo kugenda. Rero, ukore ku buryo ugira gahunda yo kwirindira umutekano mu gihe iryo hohoterwa ryakwiyongera. Gukira ibikomere by’ ihohoterwa wakorewe bifata igihe kirekire.
Kwiyitaho, kuvugisha abaguha ubufasha no kujya kwa muganga birafasha.
Imbogamizi
Rimwe na rimwe kugerageza guhangana cyangwa kugabanya ihohoterwa ukorerwa bishobora gutuma biba bibi kurusha mbere. Hari uburyo bufatwa nk’ inzira zitari nziza zo guhangana n’ ihohoterwa. Harimo
Gutongana n’ uwaguhohoteye: kugerageza gutongana n’ uwagukoreye ihohoterwa bishobora kuvamo ibibazo byinshi, akaba yakubabaza biruseho. Gutongana nawe bishobora kumuha izindi nzira zo kukubabaza cyangwa ku kunenga
Kugerageza kumva urwitwazo rw’ uwaguhohoteye: bishobora kukugusha mu mutego wo kugira impuhwe ku myitwarire yagaragajwe n’ uwaguhohoteye mu gihe azanye urwitwazo. Kugira impuhwe bishobora kongera ibikorwa bibi by’ uwaguhohoteye.
Kwishyira mu ishusho y' uwaguhohoteye: Kwisanisha n’ uwaguhohoteye bishobora kongera ikibazo ndetse bikagira uruhare mu kwikururira irindi hohoterwa. Aho kugira ngo wihindure cyangwa wisanishe n’ uko uwaguhohoteye ashaka, gerageza ushyireho umurongo ntarengwa kandi wirinde icyatuma mugirana ibindi biganiro.