Ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima ni iki?

Ihohoterwa rikomeretsa umutima cyangwa amarangamutima ni uburyo bwo kugenzura umuntu ukoresheje amagambo, ibimenyetso cyangwa ibikorwa byo kumunenga, guharabika, gutesha agaciro cyangwa kumwifashisha mu bikorwa bidakwiye. Muri rusange, umubano ugaragara ko ugira ingaruka ku marangamutima iyo wiganjemo amagambo yo gutesha agaciro no kwangiza ubuzima bwawe bwo mu mutwe.

Nubwo ihohoterwa rikomeretsa umutima cyangwa amarangamutima rigaragara cyane mu mubano w’abakundana, rishobora kugaragara mu mubano w’ inshuti abagize umuryango cyangwa abakorana.

Ubu ni ubwoko bw’ ihohoterwa bigorana kumenya niba ryabayeho. Ibimenyetso byaryo bishobora kutagaragara inyuma ariko rituma umuntu yiha agaciro gake cyane, akaba yashidikanya ku bushobozi afite.

Icya mbere ukora iri hohoterwa aba agamije ni ukukugenzura hakoreshejwe uburyo bwo gusuzuguza cyangwa gucecekesha urikorewe.

Nyuma yo gukorerwa ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima, abarikorewe baba baguye mu mutego, akenshi barakomereka cyane ku buryo batakwihanganira umubano bafitanye n’ abandi ariko na none bakabura imbaraga zo kuwuvamo.

Ni gute wabimenya?

Iyo ugenzuye uburyo umubano wawe wifashe, wibuke ko ihohoterwa rikomeretsa umutima ritagaragarira amaso. Biragoye kwemeza ko umutima wakomeretse. Niba utekereza ko umubano wawe utifashe neza, tekereza uburyo umubano wawe wifashe hagati y’ umufasha wawe, inshuti cyangwa abagize umuryango n’ ingaruka bigira ku marangamutima yawe.

Hano hari ibimenyetso byerekana ko uri mu mubano uhagaze nabi. Wibuke ko nubwo mugenzi wawe yaba akora bike muri ibi, uracyari mu mubano ukomeretsa amarangamutima yawe.

Ntugwe mu mutego wo kwibwira ko “atari bibi cyane” cyangwa ngo ugabanye uburemere bw’ iyo myitwarire ikomeretsa umutima wawe. Wibuke ko buri wese akwiye kwitabwaho, kugirirwa neza no kubahwa.

Niba wumva warakomeretse, ukabura amahwemo, ubona ibintu bidasobanutse neza, ukaba udategwa amatwi, ufite agahinda, uhangayitse cyangwa ntacyo umaze mu gihe uganira n’ abandi, hari ibyago byinshi ko umubano urimo ukomeretsa amarangamutima yawe.

Akwitegaho ibikorwa byinshi Bidashoboka

Abantu bahohotera abandi mu marangamutima bumva ko hari ibyo biteguriye kubona iyo babangamira abandi. Ingero zabyo harimo:

• Kugusaba ibintu bidafite ishingiro.

• Kumva ko wareka ibyawe ugakora ibyabo

• Kumva ko mugomba kumarana igihe kinini

• Kutanyurwa kandi ntako utagize ngo ukore ibyo bagusabye.

• Kukunenga ngo ni uko utakoreshe uburyo bwabo mu gukora ibikorwa bagusabye

• Kumva batavuguruzwa

• Kugusaba kuvuga amazina n'amatariki nyayo mugihe muganira kubintu byakubabaje (kandi mugihe udashobora gukora ibi, bashobora kureka ibyabaye nkaho bitigeze bibaho)

Kugutesha agaciro

Abantu bakomeretsa abandi mu amarangamutima akensho bahitamo gukoresha imvugo cyangwa ibikorwa bikwambura agaciro. Ingero zirimo ibi bikurirkira:

• Gusuzugura, kwanga cyangwa gusobanura nabi ibitekerezo cyangwa ukuri byawe.

• Kwanga kwemera amarangamutima yawe, bakagerageza kukumvisha uko ugomba kumererwa.

• Kugusaba ibisobanuro ku buryo wiyumva buri kanya

• Kugushinja ko ibintu byose ubikomeza, ugira amarangamutima mu bintu byose cyangwa ko wataye ubwenge

• Kwanga ibitekerezo utanga bakavuga ko nta mumaro bifite

• Gutesha agaciro ubusabe bwawe, ibyo ukeneye bakumva ko ari ubuswa cyangwa bidakwiye

• Kuvuga ko ibitekerezo byawe atari byo cyangwa abantu badashobora kukwizera akensho bakavuga ko “ukuririza ibintu”

• Akenshi bagushinja ko wikunda, uhora ubasaba cyangwa ukunda ibintu iyo ugize icyo ubasaba (bumva ko nta kintu ukwiye guhabwa)

Gukurura intonganya

Abantu bakomeretsa abandi mu amarangamutima y’ abandi bakurura intonganya. Ingero zirimo:

• Kugambirira gutongana

• Gukoresha imvugo zihakana iby’ abandi

• Kugira impinduka mu mimerere no kugira umujinya

• Kwangiza imyenda, umusatsi, ibyo washyize ku murongo n’ ibindi byinshi

• Imyitwarire idahwitse kandi itungurana kuburyo wumva ko "ugenda hejuru y'amagi".

Gukoresha ibikangisho

Abantu bakorera abandi ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima akenshi bakoresha ibikangisho. Ingero zirimo:

• Gukoresha cyangwa gutega umuntu icyo akora ku buryo agira icyo yishinja

• Guharabika abandi mu bice bihuriramo abantu benshi

• Gukoresha ibyo utinya, indangagaciro, impuhwe cyangwa ubundi buryo bwo gukoresha abandi mu bikorwa bidahwitse.

• Gukuririza amakosa y’ abandi cyangwa kuyibandaho mu rwego rwo kwirinda kugibwaho n’ igisebo kubera amahitamo cyangwa amakosa yabo.

• Guhakana cyangwa kubeshya ko hari ibintu byabaye

• Gutanga ibihano bikomeye kandi akenshi ahantu utabona uko uvuga ibikubangamiye.

• Kuguhana akwima urukundo, akwirengagiza cyangwa gucece

Kwikuza

Abantu bakorera abandi ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima barikuza, bagashaka icyubahiro. Ingero zirimo:

• Gufata abanda nkaho bari munsi yabo

• Kunenga abandi kubera amakosa n’ ibyo batabashije gukora neza

• Gushidikanya ku bintu byose babwiwe no kunyomoza abandi

• Gukina abandi ku mubyimba

• Kuvuga ko ibitekerezo by’abandi, ari ubucucu, bitarimo ubwenge cyangwa bitumvikana

• Gusuzugura no kwikuza ku bandi

• Gukoresha imvugo zo gutebya ariko bakomeretsa abandi

• Kumva ko buri gihe aribo bari mu kuri, ko bazi byose cyangwa bafite ubwenge kurusha abandi.

Kugenzura abandi

Abantu bakorera abandi ihohoterwa rikomeretsa amarangamutima bumva bagenzura abandi. Ingero zirimo:

• Gukurikirana aho wagiye cyangwa kugenzura abo mwirirwanye harimo inshuti cyangwa abagize umuryango

• Kugenzura ibikorwa by' abandi ku mirongo y’ ikoranabuhana harimo ubutumwa bugufi, imbuga nkoranyambaga na imeyili.

• Gushinja abandi kubaca inyuma no guterwa ishyari n’ umubano bafitanye nabandi

• Kugusaba ibisobanuro by’ aho uherereye buri gihe no kugenzura ingendo zose ukora

• Gufata abandi nk’ibikoresho

• Kunenga cyangwa gukinira ku bantu bawe: inshuti, umuryango n’abo mukorana

• Gukoresha ishyari ryabo nk’ ikimenyetso cy’ urukundo kugira no ucike ku bandi