MENYA UKO WAHANGANA NO KWICUZA
Ubuzima bwuzuyemo amahitamo n’ inzira abantu batanyuramo, ntibitangaje kuba abantu rimwe na rimwe bicuza kubera imyanzuro bafashe n’ indi batafashe.
Kwicuza bishobora kuba amarangamutima yuzuyemo umubabaro. Nubwo biva mu kumva udakwiye, utengushywe, wishinja ikosa ku bintu byabaye mu gihe cyatambutse, ibyo byiyumviro bishobora kugira uruhare rukomeye ku buzima bwawe bwa none. Ikibazo nuko iyo wumva wicuza ku mahitamo wakoze mu gihe cyarangiye, rimwe na rimwe ushobora kubura ibyishimo mu gihe cy’ ubu.
Ugiye kumenya byinshi byerekeye kwicuza, ikibitera, n’ icyo wakora ngo uhangane nabyo.
Kwicuza ni iki?
Kwicuza bisobanuye amarangamutima yibanda ku myumvire y’ uko ibyabaye mu gihe cyashize byari kuba mu bundi buryo kugira ngo bivemo icyo umuntu yifuzaga.
Ni ugutekereza uti “iyaba byaragenze kuriya”, hari kuba itandukaniro mu buzima bwanjye. Rimwe na rimwe, iyo mitekerereze isobanuye ko washimye amahirwe wari wagize, ariko kurundi ruhande ukigaya kubera utayakoresheje.
Ibiranga kwicuza
Byibanda ku gihe cyashize
Ni amarangamutima yuzuye umubabaro
Kwicuza byibanda ku biba mu buzima
Bitera kugereranya ibintu
Akenshi birangwa n’uko umuntu yigaya.
Impamvu kwicuza bibangama ni ukubera, ari uko biteye, bituma umuntu yumva hari ikintu yari gukora, amahitamo amwe yari kugira cyangwa ibindi bikorwa wari gukora byari gutuma ubona ibyiza cyangwa wirinda ibintu biteye ubwoba.
Kwicuza si ukwifuza ko ibintu byari kugenda neza kurusaho, ahubwo bijyana no kumva wigaye kandi wishinja.
Kwicuza ni ikintu kigoye kucyumva, ariko abahanga basobanura ko bigira umumaro iyo umenye neza uko wahangana nabyo kandi bikagufasha kugira amaihitamo meza mu bihe bizaza.
“Nta kwicuza” ni imvugo ikoreshwa na benshi, yerekana ko kwicuza ari uguta imbaraga n’ umwanya. Biboneka mu mico itandukanye kandi iyo mvugo ishobora gukwirakwizwa ku mbuga nkoranyambaga n’ ibyamamare.
Kubwa Daniel Pink, umwanditsi w’ igitabo “The Power of Regret” (imbaraga zo kwicuza), iyo mvugo si yo 100%. Uwo mwanditsi avuga ko kwicuza atari ikintu kibi, ahubwo bishobora kugirira abantu umumaro. Kubwa Pink, kwicuza ni isoko y’ amakuru adasanzwe. Iyo akoreshejwe neza, ashobora kukuyobora, kugutera imbaraga kandi bikakwigisha kugira amahitamo meza mu gihe kizaza.
Uko wahangana no kwicuza
Mu gihe utakwirinda kwicuza, hari ibintu wakora ukagabanya ibyo byiyumviro. Cyangwa ntibibe ikibazo, ahubwo ukabihinduramo amahirwe akomeye yagufasha gukura no guhinduka.
Kwicuza akenshi birangwa n’ umubabaro, ariko bishobora kugira umumaro cyangwa bikaba imbaraga igusunika mu buzima bwawe. Urugero; kwicuza bishobora kugutera imbaraga. Bishobora gutuma utsinda amakosa wakoze mu gihe cyashize cyangwa ugafata ingamba zo kuyakosora ngo ntibizasubire.
Ubushakashatsi bwerekanye ko kwicuza wagize cyangwa gukeka ko uzicuza bishobora kugira uruhare rukomeye ku myanzuro uzafata mu gihe kizaza. Imbaraga zo kwirinda kwicuza mu gihe kizaza zishobora gutuma ufata imyanzuro ibereye.
Itoze kwiyakira
Kumenya no kwakira ibyo wiyumvamo ni ingenzi. Iyo wakiye uko umeze n’ uburyo wiyumva, ubasha kumenya ko agaciro kawe kadasobanurwa n’ amakosa cyangwa ibyo utagezeho.
Kwakira uko umeze n’ amarangamutima yawe ntibisobanuye ko udashaka guhindura ibintu cyangwa gukora neza. Ahubwo bisobanuye ko ufite ubushobozi bwo kumenya ko uri kwiga, guhinduka no gukura.
Incamake
Ibuka ko ibyabaye mu gihe cyashize bidakwiye kugira uruhare mu hazaza hawe, kandi ufite ubushobozi bwo gukora amahitamo meza mu gihe kizaza.
Itoze kwiha imbabazi
Kubera ko kwicuza bijyana no kwishinja no kwigaya, kubona uburyo wibabarira bishobora kugabanya amarangamutima mabi yatewe no kwicuza. Kwibabarira bigendana no kureka umujinya, kwiyanga cyangwa kumva waritengushye wowe ubwawe.
Kwemera amakosa wakoze ni igice kimwe cyuru rugendo, ariko kwibabarira bisaba kwigirira impuwe. Aho kugira ngo wihe igihano kubera ayo makosa, igirire impuhwe n’ imbabazi nk’ uko ushobora kubigirira abandi.
Ushobora kandi kubikora witaye ku makosa wakoze, ukerekana agahinda ariko ukagira gahunda yo kwisubiraho. Nta bushobozi ufite bwo guhindura ahahise ariko ugatera intwambwe yo gukora neza mu gihe kizaza bishobora kugufasha kwibabarira no kujya mbere, aho guheranwa n’ amateka.
Ca bugufi ku makosa wakoze
Icyiyongera ku kuba wakwibabarira, bishobora kugufasha ugerageje gusaba abandi imbabazi ibikorwa cyangwa imyanzuro yawe bishobora kuba byaragizeho ingaruka. Ibi byagufasha cyane cyane niba kwicuza ufite bishingiye ku makimbirane cyangwa ibindi bibazo bishobora guhungabanya amarangamutima n’ agahinda.
Guca bugufi, ugasaba imbabazi kandi ubyiyumvamo bishobora gutuma undi muntu amenya ko wicuza kandi witaye ku buryo amerewe.
Gira icyo ukora
Inzira imwe yo guhangana no kwicuza ni ukubikoresha utera imbaraga ejo hazaza. Wite ku byahindutse cyangwa wakoze mu buryo butandukanye, aho kuguma wibanda kubyo udashobora guhindura, ubifate nk’ amahirwe yo kwiga bityo bizagufashe gukora amahitamo meza mu gihe kizaza.
Mu by’ ukuri, ushobora kuba utarafashe imyanzuro myiza mu gihe cyatambutse kubera ko utari ufite ubumenyi buhagije, nta burambe wari ufite cyangwa ukaba utaratekezaga ku bishobora kuva mu mahitamo wagize. Wafashe umwanzuro ugendeye kubyo wari uzi n’ ubushobozi n’ amakuru wari ufite muri icyo gihe.
Wiyibutse ko ubu bitewe n’ ibyo wize mu gihe, ubu ufite ubumenyi ukeneye kugirango ukore amahitamo meza mu gihe uzaba uhuye n’ ikintu wahuye nacyo mu gihe cyashize.
Incamake
Wibuke ko ibyabaye mu gihe cyatambutse bidafite aho bihuriye n’ ahazaza kandi ufite ubushobozi bwo guhitamo neza ejo hawe hakaba heza.
Hindura ibitekerezo
Ubu ni uburyo bushobora kugufasha guhindura imyumvire no guhindura uburyo utekereza ku bintu unyuramo. Ubu buryo bushobora kugufasha guhindura uburyo ubona ibintu, ukigirira impuhwe kandi ugahereza agaciro amarangamutima yawe. Bishobora kandi kugufasha kubona ibintu byawe mu buryo bwiza kandi ugatsinda ibitekerezo bituma ubaho nabi.
Nkuko Pink yabyanditse mu gitabo “No regrets” (nta kwicuza), guhindura ibitekerezo si ukwirengagiza kwicuza. Ahubwo ni uguha agaciro no kumenya amakosa wakoze ko yakugize uwo uri we nonaha.
Bivuye mu guhindura ibitekerezo, kwicuza ubibona nk’ amahirwe meza yo kugufasha kugira ubwenge no gukomera. Si ukuvuga gusa ko utahindura imyanzuro wafashe ahahise, ahubwo bijyana no kumenya ko amahitamo wakoze yafashije kwiga kandi ukazabasha ufata imyanzuro myiza mu gihe kizaza.
Incamake
Guhindura uburyo utekereza ku bintu byabaye mu gihe cyatambutse bigufasha kubona kwicuza mu bundi buryo. Aho guhungira mu byiyumviro bibi, ushobora kubona kwicuza nk’ amakuru yagufasha kujya mbere.