Uburyo wakoresha uganira n’ umwana ku buzima bw’ imyororekere n’ ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina

Ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko abenshi mu ngimbi n’abangavu batigeze na rimwe baganirizwa n’ababyeyi babo ku buryo bakwirinda ibishuko no guhozwa ku nkeke zo gukoreshwa imibonano mpuzabitsina ku gahato. Aha hari inama Impuguke ziha imiryango n’ibiganiro ababyeyi bagirana n’abana babo kuri iyo ngingo.


Gukoreshwa imibonano mpuzabitsina ku gahato bishobora kumvikana nk’aho ari ikibazo cyugarije abagore bubatse gusa ariko ubushakashatsi butandukanye bwagaragaje ko abakobwa bakiri bato nabo bahura n’icyo kibazo. Hagendewe ku byavuye mu bushakashatsi “Cornell International Survey on Street Harassment” byagaragaye ko 85% by’abagore muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe za Amerika bahuye n’ikibazo cyo gukoreshwa imibonano mpuzabitsina bagifite imyaka 17 kandi 11.6% bavuga ko bahuye n’uko guhozwa ku nkeke mbere yo kugira imyaka 11 y’ubukure.


Guharabikwa bishobora kubyara umuhangayiko n’ubwoba bitagendeye ku myaka, ariko noneho guhozwa ku nkeke yo gukoreswa imibonanompuzabistina byo akenshi bikorerwa mu ngo. Mu by’ukuri, Ubushakashatsi bwa vuba bugaragaza ko abana biga mu mashuri yisumbuye muri America bahura n’ibishuko bibashora mu mibonano mpuzabistina.


Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe kuri Kaminuza ya Illinois, bwakurikiranye ingimbi n’abangavu 1, 300 mu gihe cy’imyaka itanu hagamijwe kumenya ihuriro riri hagati y’ibishuko biganisha ku mibonano mpuzabitsina no guhozwa ku nkeke. Abagera hafi kuri 43% byabo, bavuze ko mu mwaka washize bagizweho ingaruka n’ubwo bushukanyi, cyane cyane bivuye ku nkuru, urwenya n’ ibimenyetso bigaruka ku mibonano mpuzabistina. 21% bavuze ko bakorakowe kandi bafashwe mu buryo buganiska ku mibonano mpuzabitsina ariko 18% nibo bagerageje kubyamagana. 14% muri abo banyeshuri nibo bagaragaje ko bagizweho ingaruka n’amagambo yavuzwe kuri icyo kibazo.


Mu bushakashatsi bwakozwe ku bafite imyaka hagati ya 18 na 25, Making Caring Common (MCC) yabonye ko urwango rw’abagore (misogyny) n’ ubushukanyi buganisha ku mibonano mpuzabitsina bwinganje cyane mu bakiri bato. Ibyavuyemo bigaragaza ko 87% by’abagore batanze amakuru muri ubwo bushakashatsi bakorewe byibuze kimwe muri ibi bikurira: kuvugwa mu ruhame, gukorwaho n’abantu batazi, kubwirwa amagambo y’ ubusambanyi n’abagabo cyangwa abagore bagenzi babo no kumva umuntu ababwira ko bashyushye “Hot”.


Ubwo bushakashatsi kandi bwerekanye ko 76% by’ abatanze amakuru batigeze baganirizwa n’ ababyeyi ku buryo bakoresha birinda ibintu bishobora kubaviramo gukoreshwa imibonano mpuzabitsina batabishaka kandi abenshi ntibigeze baganira n’ababyeyi babo ku bubisha buganisha ku mibonanao mpuzabitsina.


Ingimbi n’abangavu bakeneye amakuru yimbitse ku buryo bakwirinda ibishuko no guhozwa ku nkeke zo gukoreshwa imibonano mpuzabitsina ku gahato.


Bisobanure


Abanyeshuri bo mu mashuri yisumbuye basa nkaho hari amakuru badafite ku ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina. Baba babizi cyangwa batazi ibyo bashorwamo cyangwa bakaba batumva ingaruka bigira ku marangamutima iyo babikorewe, urwango rw’igitsina gore (misogyny) no guhozwa ku nkeke biguma byiyongera mu bigo by’amashuri yisumbuye.

Intambwe ya mbere ni ugutanga ubusobanuro no kuvuga batishisha ku moko y’ amabi menshi ashingiye ku gitsina abangavu bahura nayo mu bigo by’amashuri. Akenshi bahitamo guceceka iyo babwiwe cyangwa bigishijwe, ariko kugira ikiganiro gifunguye bishobora gutuma ingimbi n’abangavu batuza iyo bavuga kuri iyi ngingo.


Icyo ababyeyi bakwiye kwibandaho:


  • Ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina rishobora kuba ku bakobwa n’abahungu.

  • Rishobora gukorwa mu magambo cyanwa rikorewe umubiri.

  • Rishobora kwiganza mu magambo, ibimenyetso, ibikorwa cyangwa kwibanda ku muntu hagambiriwe ku mugirira nabi.

  • Bishobora gukorwa hakoreshejwe ikoranabuhanga, biciye mu butumwa bugufi, amashusho cyangwa amafoto.

Ni iyihe myitwarire idakwiye yerekana guhozwa ku nkeke?


Birakwiye ko ingimbi n’abangavu bumva neza ko ibiganiro (bikorewe ku ikoranabuhanga cyangwa imbonankubone) bishobora kubabuza amahwemo cyangwa bakumva badatekanye kandi bakihutira kubibwira umuntu mukuru bizeye. Ibi bikurikira ni imyitwarire iganisha ku gukoreshwa imibonano mpuzabitsina ku gahato:

  • Inkuru cyangwa ibimenyetso byibanda ku mibonano mpuzabitsina

  • Gukwirakwiza amakuru y’ imibonano mpuzabitsina

  • Kwaka undi amafoto yerekana ubusa bwe

  • Kwandika ubutumwa bwimibonano mpuzabitsina ku muntu uri hantu hahurira abantu benshi.

  • Kwereka undi muntu amashusho cyangwa amafoto bidahwitse.

  • Gusangiza abandi ubutumwa, amafoto cyangwa amashusho yibanda ku mibonano mpuzabitsina bicisijwe ku mbuga nkoranyambaga

  • Gusangiza abandi amafoto cyangwa amashusho biciye ku butumwa bugufi, email cyangwa andi ma porogaramu ya mudasobwa cyangwa telefoni.

  • Gukorakora, gufata umuntu mu buryo bukurura ibyiyumviro byo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina.

  • Koherereza undi umuntu ubutumwa burimo amagambo, amashusho cyangwa amafoto y’ubusambanyi atabisaka.

Tuvuge ku bindi bitari byitezwe


Ese byagenda ute igihe ibyari ibiganiro bijemo gukundana? Ni iki kiba iyo umuntu yishimira gutebya nyuma akazahindura ibitekerezo? Ese bimera ute iyo gufatana ibiganza cyangwa guhoberana byemewe bigakurura indi myitwarire?


Umubano w’ abakundana ushobora gutera urujijo mu bana bato. Mu gihe ingimbi cyangwa umwangavu ashaka kubaka uwo umubano, bishobora kumugora kumva neza icyo uwo bakundanye ashaka. Iyo ababyeyi bafungukiye kubwira abana babo ku rukundo abana bafitanye n’abandi n’uburyo babyitwaramo bakubaka icyizere mubo bakundana, ingimbi n’abangavu bumva neza uko bagenzura amaranamutima y’ abakunzi babo kandi bakabaza ibibazo by’amatsiko mbere yo gutangira uwo mubano.


Ni byiza ko umubyeyi aganira n’ umwana we mbere yo kujya muri uwo mubano w’urukundo. Bwira umwana wawe yite kuri ibi bibazo bikurikira:

  • Gushima n’urukundo bitandukaniye he?

  • Ese buri gihe gukururwa n’umuntu bivamo urukundo?

  • Bigenda gute iyo uwo nitaho we atabinkoreye?

  • Ni gute abantu babiri bubaka icyizere no kwitanaho?

Bwira Umwana wawe ko agomba gutinyuka akavuga


Iyo urungano rukoresheje imvugo “Kuryamana n’umuntu” cyangwa bakagira ibiganiro bibi, bishobora kugora ingimbi cyangwa umwangavu kubyihanganira no kubirwanya. Akenshi ibiganiro byerekeye ingingo y’ imibonano mpuzabitsina bivugwa nkaho ari urwenya cyangwa kwirata ubushobozi bwa buri wese bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina. Iyo ibyo bibaye kenshi, bigera aho umwana akaba yabifata nkaho ari ibintu bisanzwe bikaba byatuma batita ku ngaruka ayo magambo ashobora kugira ku byiyumviro byabo.


Iyo ingimbi n’abangavu bagize umuco wo gufashanya, bishobora kugira itandukaniro. Mufashe kugira icyo amenya ku buryo yakoresha ahakanira abamubwira ayo magambo adahwitse (kandi ukoreshe amagambo yumva neza). Iyo ingimbi cyangwa umwangavu yihagazeho agahakanira abo bose, nawe ubwe afasha bagenzi be bikaba byatuma umuco muzima utera imbere.


Gira icyo Ukora


Abenshi mu ngimbi n’abangavu ntibasobanukirwa uko amagambo n’ibikorwa byabo bibangamira abandi. Ariko kugira icyo ukora mu buryo butuje, ababyeyi bafasha umwana wabo kwiga gutekereza mbere yo kuvuga.


Shyiraho umurongo ntarengwa ku bijyanye n’amagambo abana bakoresha mu rugo kandi ugire icyo ukora mu gihe wumvise imvugo cyangwa imyitwarire idahwitse. Ingimbi n’abangavu bakwiye gukurikiranwa mu magambo bavuga n’ ibikorwa bakora.


Genzura imbuga nkoranyambaga


Akenshi, ingimbi n’abangavu biga ibintu byinshi bivuye mu binyamakuru. Yaba amashusho yo ku rubuga rwa YouTube, Ibiganiro byo ku ma televiziyo, filimi n’ ibyahererekanyijwe ku mbuga nkoranyambaga, ingimbi n’abangavu bakuramo ubutumwa iyo babikurikiranye.

Babaze neza ibyo bakunda kureba n’ abantu bakunda gukurikira. Reba amwe mu mashusho yo kuri izo mbuga kugira ngo ubashe kumenya ibyo bakuramo. Ugenzure neza ubafashe kumenya ibiba bivuga nabi abagore n’abakobwa kandi ufate igihe ubashakire amashusho, ibiganiro n’ izindi mbuga zabafasha kurwanya uko guhozwa ku nkeke hagamijwe kubakoresha imibonano mpuzabitsina.


 

Si ikintu cyo kuganiraho n’ ingimbi cyangwa abangavu ngo bihite birangira. Uko amakuru n’ ibiganiro bitangwa kenshi, niko abanyeshuri biga mu mashuri yisumbuye nabo biga uko birinda kujya mu bikorwa bituma undi umuntu ahozwa ku nkeke bikaba byamushora mu mibonano mpuzabitsina.

 

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